Monday, June 23, 2008

The Banana Thief of Tijuca Forest

The scene of the crime: the Tijuca forests of Rio de Janiero, the largest urban forest in the world. The perpetrator: a jackfruit eating tufted capuchin monkey lured by an unwitting, banana-fed American tourist. It was the perfect crime.

Ah yes, lunchtime brings another tourist being fed bananas by irresponsible monkeys -- this delicious morsel will soon be mine -- what an easy steal.

What a cunning criminal I am -- that was much too easy. Call it a crime if you must, but the signs say "Do Not Feed the Animals". Is it not an act of compliance -- keeping these biopeds from being fed -- just like the signs say. I'm just doing my civilian duty as a citizen of these forests.

Everyone knows that feeding tourists fresh bananas disturbs their natural environment. What kind of monkey would feed these two-legged animals anyway? Don't they know that interfering in the American tourist's diet with healthy food causes undue stress on their biological systems.

With the amount of fast food available near the forests -- it is simply not necessary to feed the tourists. They could stand to miss a meal anyway.

Oh, this banana is so good! And such a nice change from eating jackfruit all day. I'm so glad that monkey was feeding the tourist. What a delightful treat!

What is that? An organ I hear? A badly played organ in need of an organ grinder????

Corra! Corra! The organ grinding police are coming to get me!

Watch this, I will run very fast, narrowly escaping the long arm of the law and consequently a life of organ grinding and wearing a fez. I do not look good in hats!

They are outrunning me. I must not leave any evidence behind.

Escape is nearly mine! It is not my destiny to spend the rest of my life in street fairs and carnivals. I have no musical talent. Anyway, who will protect these tourists from all this healthy food?
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